walking with uncertainty, for the many miles before
stripped, devoid, communication failure, forever, annoyed.
walking with uncertainty, closer to the doors, fear not, dear lady, i ignore the whores.
chiming bits of bitter flesh, filled inside with bored to death.
walking with uncertainty, i hear my name, then theres you, i think to myself how smooth a move it is to sit next to you, how do you do? i can hardly stare at your face, the sight is too great, my mind is a beacon watching you, my face is too shamed to stay turned your way
walking with uncertainty, its time, to leave you,
2.3 seconds, is the hug i gave you. reverse the numbers and multiply by 2, thats about how long i wish i couldve held you.
walking wth uncertainty, keyboard in the dark. i wish i had an explantion, for the feeling im feeling for. tonight
"your afraid in your mind but to me you are fearless"
this is why you should write more miss ash, you dont recongnize how good your wordage is, this is a badass quote and as far as your other compliments go, well, i dont even know what to say, i think i was just given the most amazing compliments of my life, im quite speechless…
im quitting porn, legendary pictures called me today and asked to fly me out for a photshoot and screen test, ive been told by many people im too good for porn, that im different, special, had some talent, liked something about me, i never belived any of it, i strived to become liked, because in my mind you cant try to be wanted, you have to be so awsome someone mentions you, someone picks you because you are what you are aand you are amazing, this is my proof, that i am special, and it made me happy
Glad to hear you’re interested. The projects my division recruits for is strictly solo work. In short, a solo film is just you (rubbing one off). The shoot pays $2,000.00 plus your round trip flight to sunny San Diego, 3 Star Hotel, Limo Service to/from the San Diego airport to your hotel, and we also reimburse up to $50.00 per day for meals.
i hate throwing parties, everyones always doing shit with a chick, i never have hottubing girls, anyone to cuddle with, now my pet rigsby is dead, im alone, and it sucks, everyone here is doing something and i feel like im standing on a sidewalk being passed by everyone, swirled around in color, while myself is grey
isolation is torture at it purest form,
fuck you all for your happiness,i miss love, godammit where is it? im not very strong or imposing despite my outward apereance, i hate how everyone thinks im too good to talk to them, or like them, when i do, i hate all the drunken mistakes i ever made, i wish i was pure, i wish i could have a romantic dating life, i mss dates, double dates, movie nights sent cuddling, i fucking swear ive had enough sex to last me a lifetime, i just want to be with someone :( someone who loves and likes me for exactly who and what i am, a total freak, but other than that i think im a pretty good guy :/ i mean idk, ugh.
and the girl i HAVE taken out this week is plainly into daniel or not me,bleh.
rejection follows rejection, relaspe to relapse, depression to deression,
this cycle has to end sometime right? i want to meet a super pretty super nice chick, which is hard to find, so im picky as fuck, but goddamm this lonlieness, goddammmmm itttt, now my baby rigsby is dead… fucking raccoonn… ive never told anyone how much i really love him, he was the highlight of my day, we had understandings and love, he missed me when i came out of town and came home,i raised him and he were there with me, bluehole, work, beach, parties, trees, we went everywhere together, he was my baby.. and someone ran him over…ive never felt colser to a single thing in my life, and it hurts me every second of the day, im even lonlier now, i just wish i could meet a girl, i go to resteraunts alone, i go picnining alone,im going to be somebody soon, i wish there was an honest girl to go along the path with me, id be the best to a girl that chose me, id be the very best to her, because to me the very best would be someone extremely special now, someone that likes me back as much as i do them, and i like too, i hardly ever meet anybody, and when i do they end up getting a boyfriend, lols
i send out so many bitchy rants, and im refraining from spamming facebook with crappy status’s, this is a cry for help, i feel like im breaking , i have an awsome job now and i dont even wanna work, ugh, i just wish there was someone out there….for me